Sexual expression is an important part of an intimate adult relationship. When sexuality functions well, it is a positive, integral component in relationship, but not a prime factor – contributing 15%-20%. When sexuality is problematic or non-existent, it plays an inordinately powerful role, dominating 50% -70% of the relationship, draining it of intimacy and good feelings.
People seek help regarding a variety of sexual concerns:
· Low or differing levels of desire
· Erectile disturbances
· Ejaculatory issues – premature or delayed
· Inability to orgasm
· Painful intercourse
· Re-establishing a sexual relationship after an affair
· Difficulty communicating sexual wants and needs
· Dealing with changes in sexual functioning due to illness, injury or medications
If you are experiencing sexual difficulties, sex therapy can help. Wendy works closely with doctors to help determine the medical, psychological and relational components of the problem.
Sexual difficulties can result from:
- Individual issues such as childhood emotional, physical or sexual trauma
- Relationship issues such as unresolved anger or resentment, lack of affection.
- The natural aging process – men can be less assured of having an erection firm enough for intercourse at each sexual encounter as they age. Women may experience vaginal dryness due to lack of estrogen after menopause.
- Side effects of medications such as anti-depressants and beta-blockers
- Sexual pain
- Health issues such as depression, anxiety, heart disease, diabetes, Multiple Sclerosis, or injuries that inhibit motion or have caused neurological damage
Sex therapy: what to expect
1. Couples often endure sexual problems for some time before seeking help. If you avoid being sexual, you and your partner can pull away from each other and stop being affectionate as well. It’s important to develop emotional intimacy and a sense of security in the relationship before addressing the sexual issue.
2. During sex therapy, you’ll be treated with sensitivity and respect. You’ll be engaged in a way that helps you talk with your partner about your sexual concerns, your sexual history and your current sexual functioning.
3. You’ll receive information about sexual functioning that places your issue within a larger context and helps you understand that you are not alone. Reading materials may be recommended to augment the learning that takes place within the sessions.
4. Sexual issues are often caused by multiple factors. Wendy may recommend a consultation with a physician to rule out or get help with medical issues.
5. Wendy provides exercises you can do at home to expand your sexual expression. These exercises are negotiated and geared to your readiness at each stage of the process.
Wendy is a Registered Sex Therapist with BESTCO (Board of Examiners in Sex Therapy and Counselling in Ontario)
For more information or an appointment call Wendy Trainor at 416.204.0336 or email Wendy.